Croatia Part I- Dubrovnik and Split

Dubrovnik, Croatia



So then we were in Croatia. I thought the bold headings might be helpful, telling these Croatian-beach-castle-fortress-towns apart can be tricky. First we went to the southern town of Dubrovnik, which is really more like a big castle than a town, albeit one filled with all of the tourist fripperies you can cram into a castle. It was also super pretty. Here are some pictures of our "walk around the ramparts". I don't know why I used quotation marks:

























We spent two whole days in Dubrovnik, and had a bucket of fun. We also had many cappucinos. The cappucinos in Croatia were the best I ever had, but I haven't had that many, so take it with a grain of doubt. They exude frothiness, which may be a bad quality for a person (and a potential indicator of rabies), but is ideal for a cappucino:



V-1, who had spent considerable time in D-Town, was our super-tour guide, and was nice enough to work without pay. Here, she took us to a secret, secluded area underneath the town, which was supposedly the home to hundreds of stray cats.



I suggested we go there and photograph the cats, for science. We were disappointed to find that there were no cats around at all. A local man later told us that there had been a veritable stray cat genocide in the last year. Which I guess explains why we couldn't find any of those cats. Well, we did find these, by the dumpster:



And here is the street the dumpster was on, so you can have some perspective:



And on this same street was this red car with the red white power bumper sticker. Maybe the owner of the car just believes that the color white exudes the qualities of being "innocent, pure, optimistic, indecisive":



But they're probably just racist. Boring!

Do you like strong emotions? Then Sexy Night is for you:



Dubrovnik was unfortunately not spared from the horrors of the Balkan War, and underwent a nasty siege . If you like, you can buy an expensive DVD which will tell you more:



Here is the main fountain at the entrance to the Old City. You can drink the water out of this fountain, like the fountain in Rome (I have never been to Rome). It is supposed to be delicious, and it was, with a nice bouquet of sea animals and rust:



We decided to take a boat to a beach which was a half-hour away. We didn't take the glass-bottom boat, but I include this picture for those who would receive pleasure from such innuendo:



Instead we took this boat. It was just us and a bunch of Italian families. Remember that Italy is just across the sea from Croatia, in case you ever find yourself on Hollywood Squares, which I think has, sadly, been cancelled:



We dipped our feet into the harsh but forgiving Adriatic Sea, and I wrote a poem about it. Actually, that was the poem:



And this kid kept following us, who I believe is a member of the Obavještajna agencija:



And then we split. For Split. Go ahead and vomit.

Split, Croatia










Split is yet another devastatingly beautiful coastal city, filled with incredible history, frothy cappucinos and more European tourists than most people would probably be able to stand without descending into occasional muttered stereotyping, which I of course did not participate in.

It is home to Diocletian's Palace, built in 3rd Century A.D. and still looking great. According to my shockingly worthless "Rough Guide to Europe", which I hope you never purchase, it is #3 on the list of 25 things that you just have to see in Europe during your two week visit to all 30 countries. For some perspective, if my memory serves, French cheese was #9. Here's the Palace:









The city is small but very nice. We took a stroll, and some pictures:













The local ads ran the gamut from disgusting to genital-centric. Here's one which is also popular at drugstores ("Lekarens") in Slovakia. I'm as unlikely to buy a product named "Vichy" as I am to name my kid Adolf, and this poster doesn't help their cause much either:



And I wouldn't buy this bag, because if it has a hole in it for someone's penis then things will clearly fall out of it. I can't believe I'm not in advertising:



This owner of this store was smart enough to realize that people often want cigarettes, foot powder and a doll to mutilate, and don't want to have to go to a bunch of different stores:




As this region is the Dalmatian Coast, numerous knick-knacks are available. This shirt allows you to both tell someone that you have been to such a beautiful and overly-expensive tourist region, and that their Mom sucks:



This was my only purchase, of course in a "Large". I was planning on having it be the prize for some contest for the regular reader, but some things are hard to give away:



And then we went to other places in Croatia. It will take me forever to finish this Spring Break thing, but then again I don't have any responsibilities whatsoever, so why not.